Quick Answer: If you’ve tried counseling, communicated your needs clearly, and still feel consistently unhappy or unsafe, it may be time to seriously consider divorce.
This is the hardest question I help people work through. There’s no magic formula, but here are the signs that suggest it might be time: You’ve genuinely tried to fix the relationship through counseling or honest conversations. You find yourself fantasizing about life without your spouse more than life with them. You’re staying only for the kids, finances, or fear – not because you want to be married to this person.
The key is being honest about whether your marriage has fundamental problems that can’t be resolved, or temporary issues that could improve with effort. I help you work through this decision systematically, not emotionally.
Next Step: Schedule a free consultation to explore your feelings and options without any pressure to make immediate decisions.
Quick Answer: Gather financial documents, start thinking about your goals, and get professional guidance before making any major decisions or telling your spouse.
Here’s what you should do BEFORE you tell your spouse or file anything:
Financial Preparation: Collect bank statements, tax returns, retirement account info, and documentation of all assets and debts. Make copies and store them safely.
Goal Setting: Think about what you want your life to look like – where you’ll live, custody arrangements, financial needs. This isn’t about getting everything you want, but knowing what matters most to you.
Professional Support: Talk to a divorce coach (like me!) before you hire a lawyer. I can help you understand the process and prepare you to make better use of expensive attorney time.
Safety Planning: If there’s any history of abuse or you’re concerned about your spouse’s reaction, prioritize your safety above all else. Don’t rush this phase. The preparation you do now will save you thousands in legal fees and help you make better decisions under pressure.
Next Step: Book a free consultation to create a personalized preparation checklist for your situation.
Quick Answer: Most divorces cost $15,000-$30,000+ when you factor in lawyers, court fees, and life changes – but proper planning can significantly reduce these costs. Let’s be realistic about divorce costs because surprises hurt:
Legal Fees: Attorneys typically charge $300-$500+ per hour. A simple uncontested divorce might cost $3,000-$5,000 in legal fees, while contested divorces can easily reach $20,000-$50,000+ per person.
Court and Filing Fees: Usually $200-$500 depending on your state.
Hidden Costs: Setting up a new household, potential alimony/child support, splitting retirement accounts (which often involves fees), and maintaining two homes instead of one.
The Good News: Working with a divorce coach first typically saves clients $5,000-$15,000 in legal fees because you come to your attorney prepared and focused.
I help you create a realistic budget and find ways to minimize costs without compromising your important goals.
Next Step: Let’s discuss your specific situation and create a cost-management strategy in a free consultation.
Quick Answer: Only after you’ve done some preparation and have a plan. If there’s any history of abuse or financial control, get professional guidance first on how to proceed safely. This timing is crucial and depends on your specific situation:
Tell them AFTER you’ve prepared if: Your marriage is relatively amicable, you want to try counseling one more time, or you think they might be willing to work together on an uncontested divorce.
Wait to tell them if: You’re concerned about your safety, they control the finances, or they might hide assets or sabotage your preparation.
Never tell them if: There’s any history of domestic violence until you have a safety plan in place.
When you do tell them, have a plan for the conversation. Know what you want to say, where you’ll have the conversation, and what your next steps will be regardless of their reaction.
I help clients script these difficult conversations and prepare for various reactions.
Next Step: Let’s create a personalized timeline and conversation strategy in a free consultation.
Quick Answer: Yes, but only in very specific circumstances. Most people benefit from at least some legal guidance, even if they don’t hire a lawyer for the entire process.
You might be able to handle divorce yourself if: You have no children, no real estate, minimal assets, no retirement accounts, and you both agree on everything. Even then, it’s risky because you don’t know what you don’t know.
You definitely need a lawyer if: You have children, significant assets, own a business, one spouse has been out of the workforce, there’s domestic violence, or you disagree on major issues.
The middle ground: Work with a divorce coach to prepare, then use a lawyer strategically for specific tasks like reviewing agreements or handling court appearances.
Even in “simple” divorces, one small mistake can cost you thousands later. The question isn’t whether you CAN do it yourself – it’s whether you SHOULD.
Next Step: Let’s evaluate your specific situation and determine the right level of professional support for your case.
Quick Answer: A divorce coach fills the gap between your lawyer and therapist, providing strategic guidance and emotional support at a fraction of legal costs.
Great question! You might already have a lawyer, therapist, and supportive friends – but a divorce coach serves a unique role that none of them can fill completely.
Lawyers are incredibly expensive and busy. Unless you have unlimited resources, it’s impossible for them to sit with you for hours explaining scenarios and outcomes. With me, you work through the best scenarios for what YOU want, then present that plan to your lawyer to execute legally. We sort through options at non-lawyer rates!
Therapists are integral to your emotional healing, but they’re not trained to coach you on financial planning, parenting schedules, or legal strategy.
Friends and family mean well, but they often don’t understand the complexities of divorce, might have their own biases, and can get overwhelmed by repeatedly hearing your concerns. Save those relationships and bring your strategic questions to me!
I’m your personal divorce strategist who’s available whenever you need support – no billable hours, no appointment scheduling stress.
Next Step: Schedule a free consultation to see how divorce coaching can streamline your process and save you money.
Quick Answer: I’m your strategic partner who fills the gaps between your lawyer and therapist, focusing on practical decisions and preparation.
While your attorney handles legal paperwork and your therapist supports emotional healing, I help you navigate the practical decisions that will shape your future.
I ask the right questions so you can figure out your own answers. Want to keep the house? Let’s run through the real numbers – not just the emotional attachment. Worried about custody arrangements? We’ll map out schedules that actually work for your family’s life.
I review documents with you, help formulate clear questions for your attorney, and ensure you’re prepared for every meeting. Think of me as your personal divorce strategist who’s available whenever you need support.
The key difference: Lawyers tell you what’s legally possible. Therapists help you process emotions. I help you figure out what YOU actually want and create a strategy to achieve it.
Next Step: Experience this strategic approach firsthand in a free 30-minute consultation.
Quick Answer: Fear is completely normal. The unknown is scarier than the actual process when you have proper guidance and preparation.
Every single person I work with starts with fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of making the wrong decision, fear of hurting their children, fear of financial instability. You’re not alone in feeling overwhelmed.
Here’s what actually happens: Most divorces are resolved through negotiation, not courtroom battles. The process typically takes 6-12 months. You’ll have more control over the outcome than you think, especially with proper preparation.
The scariest parts for most people:
Here’s what helps: Having a clear plan, understanding your rights, knowing what to expect at each step, and having support from someone who’s guided hundreds of people through this exact process.
I help you replace fear with knowledge and preparation.
Next Step: Let’s talk through your specific fears and create a plan to address each one.
Quick Answer: The biggest mistakes are making emotional decisions, not preparing properly, and trying to handle everything alone.
The Most Expensive Mistakes I See:
The Most Damaging Mistakes:
The Good News: All of these mistakes are preventable with proper guidance and strategic thinking. That’s exactly why I do what I do – to help you avoid the pitfalls that cost other people time, money, and peace of mind.
Next Step: Let’s make sure you avoid these common mistakes with a strategic approach tailored to your situation.
Quick Answer: Start gathering financial documents, make copies of important papers, and schedule a consultation with a divorce coach before making any major moves.
If you’re just starting to think about divorce:
Today: Make a list of all your assets and debts. Start collecting bank statements, tax returns, and investment account statements.
This Week: Open your own checking account if you don’t have one. Start thinking about your post-divorce goals and priorities.
This Month: Consult with a divorce coach to understand your options and create a strategic plan.
Don’t do today: Don’t tell your spouse unless you’ve thought it through. Don’t hire a lawyer until you’re prepared to use their time effectively. Don’t make any major financial decisions.
If divorce feels urgent: Focus on safety first. If there’s any history of abuse, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) before taking other steps.
The key is being strategic, not reactive.
Next Step: Book a free consultation to create a personalized action plan for your specific situation.
Quick Answer: The best time is when you’re seriously considering divorce but haven’t filed yet – this gives us time to create a solid strategy before legal proceedings begin.
Ideal timing: When you’ve decided divorce is likely but before you’ve told your spouse or hired a lawyer. This gives us time to:
Still valuable at any stage: If you’re already in the middle of proceedings and feeling overwhelmed, I can help you reorganize, refocus, and fix mistakes that might be costing you time and money.
The key is being ready to take action – not just talking about divorce, but actually moving toward it with strategic intention.
Remember: the sooner you start planning strategically, the better your outcomes will be. Don’t wait until you’re in crisis mode.
Next Step: Schedule a free consultation to determine the best strategy for your current situation and timeline.
Quick Answer: Yes! I work with clients nationwide. While I’m based in Central Illinois, I’ve successfully coached people through divorces in 10+ states including California, Texas, Georgia, and more.
Here’s the reality about divorce coaching: The strategic planning, emotional support, and practical guidance I provide works regardless of where you live. Divorce coaching isn’t about knowing local laws (that’s your attorney’s job)! It’s about helping you think clearly, plan strategically, and navigate the process confidently.
I’ve coached clients in these states: North Dakota, South Dakota, Indiana, Wisconsin, Missouri, California, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Georgia, and many others.
What I help with regardless of location:
What varies by state: Divorce laws and procedures differ, but that’s exactly why you have local attorneys. I help you use that expensive legal time more effectively by having you prepared and focused.
Local referrals: If you need recommendations for attorneys, mediators, or other professionals in your area, I can coach you on exactly what to look for and the right questions to ask.
Next Step: Location doesn’t matter but your need for strategic support does. Schedule a free Contact Katie: Divorce Coache consultation to see how remote divorce coaching can help your specific situation.
Quick Answer: I combine personal divorce experience with business strategic thinking, plus I offer unlimited access without hourly billing – you can text me at 9 PM when you’re reviewing documents and actually need support.
I’ve been exactly where you are. I went through my own divorce at 25, so I understand the fear, confusion, and overwhelm firsthand. But I also bring 15+ years of business owner experience to problem-solving and strategic thinking – that combination is rare in this field.
What truly sets me apart:
Unlimited Availability: You get unlimited access to me – texts, emails, calls – without worrying about extra costs or billable hours. Most people need support at 7 PM on a Tuesday when they’re reviewing documents, not just during scheduled office hours.
Strategic Questioning: I don’t tell you what to do. I ask you the right questions so you can figure out your own answers. You know your situation better than anyone – my job is to help you think through it clearly and strategically.
Real-World Business Perspective: As a real estate investor and business owner, I understand money management and can help you think through financial decisions practically, not just emotionally.
Proven Track Record: My clients typically save $5,000-$15,000 in attorney fees because they come to legal meetings prepared, focused, and ready to make decisions.
No Judgment, Just Strategy: I’ve seen every type of situation. Nothing shocks me, and I don’t judge your choices. I just help you make the best decisions for YOUR situation and goals.
Bottom line: You need someone who combines heart with strategy, availability with expertise, and personal experience with professional guidance. That’s exactly what you get when you work with me.
Next Step: Experience my approach firsthand in a free consultation. You’ll know within 30 minutes if we’re the right fit.
Key takeaways: There is no perfect time to start your divorce journey waiting for ideal conditions prolong pain for everyone involved taking
09/29/2025
The most dangerous phrase in any major life transition? “How hard it can be?”