Throwing in the towel
“Throwing in the Towel”“Giving Up on a Good Thing”“Walking Away from Marriage”“Marriage is Hard Work… You Just Need to Try Harder!” All of these phrases get used by people who don’t understand why a couple decides to divorce. As a divorce coach, I often hear these comments from clients whose friends and family are completely blindsided by […]
When is the right time to divorce?
Are you wondering if it’s the right time to divorce? Many of my clients ask this difficult question: How do you know when it’s time to divorce? It’s common to feel like there’s always a reason to stay, even when things aren’t working. This is natural—nobody wants to go through a divorce. Despite being emotionally miserable, if you’re otherwise […]
Top 10 Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Divorce Attorney
Going through a divorce can be overwhelming, and choosing the right divorce attorney is one of the most critical decisions you’ll make during this time. Helping my clients with hiring the right divorce attorney is one of my favorite parts of the process. This big but seemingly simple step alone helps them feel empowered to make the […]
Planning for Life After Divorce: Why Planning to Fail is Just as Important as Planning to Succeed
By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Planning for life after divorce requires dual preparation: building your ideal outcome while preparing for setbacks. Resilience during divorce emerges when you anticipate failures, rejected settlements, custody violations, and financial surprises before they occur. This strategic framework separates stable outcomes from reactive chaos. Using the […]
Going Through a Divorce? Here’s How Divorce Coaching Can Help You Navigate the Process
Two years ago, I had a life-changing experience that led me to my true calling—divorce coaching. A close friend of mine was going through a challenging divorce. Although she had a skilled attorney, she was emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed by the complex legal process. She didn’t know the right questions to ask, and the legal jargon left […]
Top 10 Apps for Co-Parenting or Divorcing Parents: Pros, Cons and Costs
Navigating co-parenting after a divorce can be challenging, especially when communication between ex-partners is strained. Fortunately, there are several apps designed to help divorcing or separated parents stay organized, communicate effectively, and put their children first. As a divorce coach in Illinois, I often recommend tools that simplify this process, helping families stay on track. Here […]
How Divorce Coaching can help Navigate Shame, Loss, and New Beginnings
Although it’s still beautiful fall weather, I recently re-read *Wintering* by Katherine May. As someone who loves winter, I was immediately drawn into her imagery of cozy blankets, flickering candles, and the comforting warmth of a hot toddy. But the book’s purpose goes beyond these cozy winter scenes. May explores “wintering” as a metaphor for […]
Roommate Syndrome: When Marriage Becomes a Business Arrangement (And How to Fix It)
By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: Roommate Syndrome occurs when a marriage shifts from an intimate partnership to a logistical arrangement. While often dismissed as “normal,” this emotional disconnect creates dangerous financial blind spots and often leads to one partner emotionally exiting the marriage years before the legal filing. […]
Why a “Bulldog Divorce Attorney” Can Cost You More in Illinois (And What to Hire Instead)
If you have just been served with divorce papers, your first instinct might be panic. Your second instinct—often fueled by well-meaning friends or late-night internet searches—is probably to find the meanest, most aggressive “bulldog attorney” in town to tear through the courtroom. It makes sense on the surface. You want to feel protected. But in […]
Feeling Like “Just Roommates” in Marriage? How to Divorce with Dignity and Reclaim Your Life
One of the most common yet often hidden reasons people consider divorce is feeling like they’re “just roommates” with their spouse. There’s no abuse, no explosive fights, but there’s also no passion, no connection. Just an unyielding, empty space. For many, this lack of intimacy and excitement brings shame, leaving them questioning if their marriage […]