Planning for Life After Divorce: Why Planning to Fail is Just as Important as Planning to Succeed

You plan your days, weeks, and goals. You plan your education and career path. You plan your relationships and marriage—from choosing the type of people you date to your engagement, wedding day, and the rhythm of your married life. But what happens when those carefully laid plans go awry? What happens when the marriage you planned for doesn’t last? When you feel like you’ve failed?

Most people don’t plan for divorce. But the truth is, having a plan for the unexpected, such as a divorce, can be just as important as planning for success. If you’re navigating a divorce, whether amicable or high-conflict, it helps to have the right support in place. That’s where a divorce coach comes in.

What Does a Divorce Coach Do?

As a certified divorce coach, I help individuals navigate the emotional and logistical aspects of the divorce process. If you didn’t plan for the divorce, now is the time to plan for the next chapter–life after divorce. How will your career shift as a newly single parent? What steps will you take to co-parent effectively? Have you considered how to rebuild your life during divorce recovery?

I am so, so thankful for a friend’s referral to Katie! I felt I had a pretty good grasp on the divorce process but did not trust my ex enough to not throw some curveballs. I hired Katie to be another set of eyes and ears, to reassure me that I was not overlooking anything. She ended up exceeding this expectation! She gently nudged and kept me on task. She suggested other options to consider when I was uncertain. She provided recommendations for great, local resources. She listened through my tears, my frustrations, and my worries! She was so easy to work with and to talk to! She has been a true blessing and calm through the end of my (marriage) storm!

Is It a Failure to Divorce?

When you find yourself in an unplanned life transition like divorce, it can feel like a failure. But what if you reframed it? What if, instead, you saw it as an obstacle to overcome, a creative opportunity to revisit your goals and dreams that may have been buried under the weight of marriage, career, and children?

I personally believe in “planning to fail.” For example, I have a folder labeled “If Something Ever Happens to Me.” As the primary financial planner in my family, this folder gives my spouse one less thing to worry about if something unexpected happens to me. On the flip side, my spouse manages our home and rental property maintenance, and if something were to happen to him, I have a plan in place for who to call and how to manage those tasks.

How To Prepare to Divorce

This type of preparation is crucial when dealing with significant life changes like divorce. Divorce coaching services provide you with emotional support and help you map out your future—allowing you to navigate the divorce process with confidence. When you plan to fail, it gives you a framework to adjust and pivot without capsizing your entire life. You’re able to recover faster and move forward with renewed purpose.

If the idea of planning for divorce feels overwhelming, you’re not alone. A divorce coach consultation can help you take the first step toward building a plan that works for you. Whether you need help managing a high-conflict divorce, establishing a co-parenting arrangement, or simply finding emotional support, I’m here to help.

I’m Ready to Schedule a Free Consultation!

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About Katie VAndenBerg

Katie makes her life as a Divorce Coach in Central Illinois surrounded by river valleys and prairie. Her days are spent helping her divorce clients, working with her tenants, tending to her gardens, hiking as often as possible, spending time on her pottery wheel and loving her family.

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