I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I spent it at home; we hosted about 14 people. It was the perfect number to have a full house with lots of conversations and kiddos running around but not too many that we were stressed. Everyone brought something and it made for a fairly laid back day for us.
A week later was my birthday! 44! I feel very deeply rooted in middle age and honestly, I love it. I’ve reached the feeling of no-nonsense confidence about what I do as a Divorce Coach, helping people work through the divorce process in the most dignified way possible. When I started out I felt a lot more nervous about it. I was worried about people judging me and thinking I was encouraging divorce which is SO far from reality! It feels so good to help someone get through something so challenging and on to the other side of it all. It’s amazing when they get there and they are SO PROUD of themselves. Proud of how they handled the divorce. Proud that they handled it with grace but didn’t give up. And very often, although maybe not right at first, surprised by how GOOD they feel to be divorced.
Ben surprised me by inviting my closest friends and family for dinner at my favorite restaurant Blackband. I was SHOCKED! I thought it was just going to be the four of us for dinner and suddenly we were led to the mezzanine where parties gather and I quickly figured out what was going on. It meant so much to me that so many people took the time to come out, get a babysitter and have a really nice meal just for my birthday.
Ben really is a dream. I’ll get more into the reality of that in a moment but he’s just such a neat guy. He’s creative, funny, cute, athletic and loves to write and play his guitar. He’s a wonderful dad, husband, brother and son. Elderly people, children and dogs love him, so you know he must be the real deal!
Back to my comment about him being a dream. Maybe not exactly a dream but after my divorce my wonderful friend Chrissy who sat across from my cubicle at my bank job and I were talking. I was in the throes of the dating world and listed off what I wanted in a guy. She laughed and said, “okay, good luck with that…sounds like the perfect guy!” But I knew EXACTLY what I wanted.
Not long after that, who showed up at my coffee shop? You guessed it. Ben. He was the handsome new teacher in town (yes, VERY Hallmark Movie – esque!) who rode a motorcycle but sat at the coffee shop and wrote poetry. He loved football but he also was thrilled to pack up charcuterie and have a picnic on Grand View Drive (where we had our first date, got engaged and got married!)
Manifesting. Dreaming. Wishing. Call it what you want, but if you name it, you can get it. I am a big believer in this and I’ve experienced it over and over again for myself. An even more powerful tool in discovering what we REALLY want is to make a Vision Board. I’ve done this a few times in my adult years and almost everything I’ve ever had on mine has come true.
A vision board is a powerful tool often used in personal development and goal setting. It’s a visual representation of your goals, dreams, and aspirations created by collecting and arranging images, words, and symbols on a board. The goal is to create a tangible and vivid representation of what you want to achieve or manifest in your life.
Now, of course as someone who has been divorced and helps others navigate their divorce process, I am keenly aware that life often feels hopeless. If you’ve experienced heartbreak, a vision board can be a valuable tool for healing and moving forward.
- Focus on the Future: Heartbreak can be an emotionally overwhelming experience, making it challenging to see beyond the pain. A vision board helps shift your focus from the past to the future. By visualizing your goals and desires, you begin to build a positive and forward-looking mindset.
- Clarity and Intentions: Creating a vision board requires you to reflect on what you truly want in various aspects of your life, whether it’s relationships, personal growth, career, or well-being. This process alone of creating the board helps you gain clarity on your aspirations and set clear intentions for the future.
- Positive Visualization: Visualization is a powerful technique that can positively impact your mindset. When you see images and words representing your goals daily on your vision board, it serves as a constant reminder of the positive outcomes you are working toward. This can counteract negative thoughts and emotions associated with divorce.
- Law of Attraction: The idea behind the Law of Attraction is that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life. While it’s not a scientific law, many find that maintaining a positive mindset and focusing on their goals can attract positive energy and opportunities. A vision board is a practical tool to align your thoughts and emotions with your desired outcomes.
- Empowerment and Control: Divorce and heartbreak can leave you feeling powerless and out of control. Creating a vision board allows you to take charge of your future. You decide what goes on the board, and by doing so, you reclaim a sense of empowerment and control over your life.
- Daily Affirmation: Your vision board becomes a visual affirmation of your dreams and goals. By spending time each day looking at it, you reinforce your commitment to those aspirations. This positive reinforcement can be particularly beneficial during challenging times.
A vision board is a personal, tangible expression of hope and a roadmap for the future. It encourages a proactive and optimistic mindset, which can be especially helpful in the process of healing and moving on from divorce.
I am so excited to offer an in-person Vision Board Workshop at MUSE in January! It’s not just for people who have divorced or are in the process of it; in fact, we won’t even talk about divorce unless it’s something that comes up organically through conversation. Anyone can come and this would make a great gift for someone!
The Details:
January 20, 2023
MUSE Morton
9a-2p
Lunch, light snacks and drinks provided.
Please bring a pair of scissors and magazines if you have them that can be cut up
Everything else will be provided.
Sign up here: https://forms.gle/Cv3EKmnZHtoZjw8A6
