Going through a divorce can be one of themost challenging experiences of your life. It’s a time filled with emotional upheaval, legal complexities, and profound personal changes. As a Certified Divorce Coach, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative it can be to have the right guidance during this pivotal period. 

Embracing the Moment: Finding Strength in Divorce Transition

Rupi Kaur once wrote, “I will never have this version of me again, let me slow down and be with her.” This quote perfectly captures the essence of what many feel during divorce. It’s tempting to wish the pain away, but slowing down and embracing this moment can be a transformative experience. Divorce, like any form of grief, often leads us to cope in unhealthy ways: drinking too much, dating too soon, exercising excessively, or numbing ourselves with endless scrolling and Netflix binges.​This moment may feel like it will never end, but it will—and you will emerge stronger. Be gentle with yourself. Ask yourself: Who am I during this challenging time? What do I need? How can I rebuild my life? What goals have I neglected for far too long? These questions can lead you to a more empowered and intentional future.

“Divorce is hard, and Katie made the experience bearable. Her knowledge of the process and resources available to me helped tremendously. On top of it all, she recommended the perfect lawyer. I am so thankful I had her knowledge, as well as her encouragement, through the whole process. Thank you so much, Katie! ~ Wendy V.”

Why Slowing Down After Divorce Matters

Many of my clients have come to me feeling pressured to rush through the divorce process or jump into the next chapter of their lives. However, slowing down allows you to process your grief, rebuild your confidence, and avoid repeating patterns that may have contributed to the end of your marriage. Taking time for yourself helps you:Heal from the emotional pain of divorce.Reevaluate your goals and priorities.Build a strong foundation for your future.Ensure the needs of your kids is met.

The Risks of Moving On Too Quickly After Divorce

One of the most common mistakes I see is dating too soon after a divorce. While it’s natural to crave connection and validation, entering a new relationship before you’ve fully processed your divorce can lead to unnecessary complications. Suddenly, you’re not just dealing with the emotions of your divorce but also the highs and lows of a new relationship. This can be overwhelming and counterproductive. ​ If you don’t allow yourself to work through your emotions, unresolved feelings about your ex will resurface in future relationships. Additionally, you may not be in the best mindset to choose a partner who truly aligns with your values and goals. As a divorce coach, I’ve helped many clients navigate these complexities and focus on their own healing before seeking a new relationship.

“I am so, so thankful for a friend’s referral to Katie! I felt I had a pretty good grasp on the divorce process but did not trust my ex enough to not throw some curveballs. I hired Katie to be another set of eyes and ears, to reassure me that I was not overlooking anything. She ended up exceeding this expectation! She gently nudged and kept me on task. She suggested other options to consider when I was uncertain. She provided recommendations for great, local resources. She listened through my tears, my frustrations, and my worries! She was so easy to work with and to talk to! She has been a true blessing and calm through the end of my (marriage) storm! ~Buffi O.”

Ways to Rebuild Yourself After Divorce

Instead of rushing into a new relationship, focus on activities that help you grow and expand as a person. Here are some ideas:Take a Walk: Spending time outdoors can help clear your mind and reduce stress.Join a Community Group: Whether it’s Rotary, a book club, or a volunteer organization, connecting with others can be incredibly rewarding.Learn Something New: Take an art class, sign up for yoga, or explore a new hobby.Read: Visit your local library and discover books that inspire and uplift you.Start a Garden: Connecting with nature can be therapeutic and fulfilling.Trying something new can lead to unexpected opportunities and connections. By focusing on personal growth, you’ll meet like-minded individuals and create a strong support network.

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My Personal Divorce Journey

After my own divorce at 25, I made the mistake of dating too soon. Frustrated by repeated disappointments, I decided to pause and focus entirely on myself. I poured my energy into building my first business, Eli’s Coffee Shop, and moved into a tiny studio apartment. During this time, I worked long hours and joined the local Morton Chamber of Commerce, where I built lasting friendships and business connections. ​ By prioritizing my own growth, I eventually met my husband in the most unexpected way. He was a teacher who frequented my coffee shop, and we bonded over shared passions and goals. We were both in a place of healing and self-discovery, which allowed us to build a strong foundation for our relationship.

How a Divorce Coach Can Help

As a divorce coach, I help clients navigate the emotional, logistical, and practical aspects of divorce. Here’s how working with a coach can benefit you: Emotional Support: A divorce coach provides a safe space to process your feelings and develop strategies to manage stress and anxiety. Guidance and Clarity: I help clients set goals, prioritize their needs, and make informed decisions throughout the divorce process. Building Confidence: By focusing on your strengths and accomplishments, a coach helps you rebuild your self-esteem. Avoiding Common Pitfalls: From managing relationships with your ex to navigating new romantic interests, a coach can provide valuable insights and strategies.

The Importance of Divorce Coach Training

When choosing a divorce coach, it’s essential to work with someone who has completed accredited divorce coach training. This ensures they have the expertise to guide you effectively. Legitimate Divorce Coach Training programs cover areas such as:Communication strategiesConflict resolution techniquesEmotional intelligence developmentDivorce-specific legal and financial considerationsBy hiring a coach with professional training, you can trust that they have the skills and knowledge to support you through this challenging time.

My Divorce Coach Training

​I am a CDC Certified Divorce Coach, which is accredited by the gold standard: International Coaches Federation. Our certification requires continuing education, as well as a Standard of Ethics and Professional Responsibility.

Hire a Certified Divorce Coach

​You may think you need to Google for a “divorce coach near me” but I can work with clients anywhere in the United States!  While the majority of my clients are navigating a divorce near Peoria, Illinois, I have served clients from California to New York, from North Dakota to Texas.  I’d love to have a call with you to see if it’s a good fit to work together.  If it’s not right, I’ll be honest with you!  I don’t want to work with a client that I can’t help navigate their divorce in the best way possible.  Work With Katie