Roommate Syndrome in Marriage: Signs, Causes and Solutions
By Katie Vandenberg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: Roommate Syndrome occurs when a marriage shifts from an intimate partnership to a logistical arrangement. While often dismissed as “normal,” this emotional disconnect creates dangerous financial blind spots and often leads to one partner emotionally exiting the marriage years before the legal filing. […]
Feeling Like Roommates? How to Divorce With Dignity
One of the most common yet often hidden reasons people consider divorce is feeling like they’re “just roommates” with their spouse. There’s no abuse, no explosive fights, but there’s also no passion, no connection. Just an unyielding, empty space. For many, this lack of intimacy and excitement brings shame, leaving them questioning if their marriage […]
How Divorce Coaching Helps You Leave a Toxic Marriage
Breaking free from the cycle of a toxic marriage can feel just as consuming. But there is another insidious addiction that can consume one’s life—an addiction to saving a marriage that has long since become toxic and unsalvageable. As a divorce coach, I’ve witnessed countless clients go through this heartbreaking cycle. They find themselves constantly […]
Choosing the Hard Path: A Divorce Coach’s Perspective
“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” – Glennon DoyleWhen my first marriage began to unravel, I kept asking myself, Why is this so hard? I thought I had chosen the right partner. He was intelligent, hardworking, frugal, and kind—just like me. We were both good people. Shouldn’t this have been enough? […]
10 Questions to Ask Your Spouse Before Filing for Divorce
Navigating the decision to divorce is never easy. Whether you’re in a high-profile marriage, dealing with a high-conflict divorce, or feeling stuck in a relationship plagued by “roommate syndrome,” open and honest communication can provide clarity. As a divorce coach, I’ve guided many clients through these pivotal moments, helping them determine whether to move forward or seek solutions […]
6 Fears That Keep People From Filing for Divorce
Divorce is one of the most challenging transitions a person can face, and it often brings on new fears and uncertainties. From protecting your reputation and children to safeguarding your finances and navigating legal complexities, the process can feel overwhelming. Many people also wrestle with emotional exhaustion and the daunting question of how to rebuild […]
Is Divorce Better for the Kids? When Staying Together Hurts
Originally Published August, 2021. Updated March 2025. Quick Answer: Is Divorce Better for the Kids? While divorce is a challenging transition, research and coaching experience confirm that children thrive in peaceful environments, regardless of family structure. Staying in a high-conflict, tense, or emotionally cold marriage often causes more long-term damage—such as anxiety and poor relationship […]
Sunk Cost Fallacy in Marriage: Why Time Isn’t Enough
Quick Answer: What is the Sunk Cost Fallacy in Divorce? The “Sunk Cost Fallacy” is the psychological trap of staying in an unhappy marriage solely because of the time, money, or emotion you have already “invested.” In reality, these are sunk costs—they are gone and cannot be recovered. Staying longer does not “save” the past […]
When Should I Divorce? How to Know When It’s Time
Key Takeaways: “The person who is willing to start has a standing invitation to a better future.” I found myself writing these words recently, and they’ve been echoing in my mind ever since. As a divorce coach who has walked this path myself and guided hundreds of others through their own journeys, I’ve come to realize that […]
Are You With a High-Conflict Person? Key Patterns to Know
If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering if what you’re experiencing is “normal” relationship conflict or something more serious. Here’s what I want you to know: if you’re constantly walking on eggshells, questioning your own reality, or feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough, those are significant red flags. You’re not imagining it, and […]