Marriage Envy: Is It a Sign You Should Divorce?
I notice we are envious of people who are already doing what we are made to do. If we use our envy as a sort of arrow pointing us toward our destiny, that is a beautiful thing. — Glennon Doyle I remember the profound envy I felt during my first marriage. I found myself constantly […]
Roommate Marriage: Is It Time to Consider Divorce?
Originally posted September 2023, updated February 2025 The Invisible Breakdown: When “Nothing” Becomes Everything Living as roommates rather than spouses is one of the most common—yet shame-filled—reasons people seek divorce. As a divorce coach in Peoria, Illinois who has guided hundreds through this process, I’ve seen firsthand how this particular situation creates unique emotional challenges. If you’re […]
Addicted to Your Marriage? How to Break the Cycle
Originally posted Jan 2024, updated Aug 2025 Are You Stuck in a Toxic Marriage Cycle? Here’s How to Know When It’s Time to Break Free I have noticed a trend with some people in what I would consider a bad habit, and that’s an addiction to trying to save a marriage that is unsalvageable. It’s […]
If I Can’t Have This Marriage, I Don’t Want Marriage
“I notice we are envious of people who are already doing what we are made to do. If we use our envy as a sort of arrow pointing us toward our destiny, that is a beautiful thing” ~Glennon Doyle I remember the profound envy I felt during my first marriage. We were the first of […]
Addicted to Saving Your Marriage? When to Let Go
Hello again! I can’t believe it’s been another week already. Spring has been flying by! I’m a member of our local Garden Club and we had our Season Kick Off meeting the other night. When we finished out last season, April felt so far off in the distant future and yet, here we are. My […]
Build a Relationship That Fits Your Life
A Divorce Coach’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Happiness, Identity, and Control Quick Answer: Healthy Interdependence vs. Enmeshment Healthy interdependence means two whole people choosing to share their lives while maintaining individual identities, interests, and emotional autonomy. Enmeshment means losing yourself so completely in a relationship that your happiness, schedule, and sense of self are entirely […]
Does Every Divorce Need a Villain?
Hello again! I am in peaceful Northern California for a few days with my friend Rei Hotoda. She is the Conductor for the Fresno Philharmonic. She had a break between shows and invited me to join her in Northern Napa for a quick but much needed getaway. We’ve hiked, ate LOTS of bread and cheese and […]
How Ego Damages a Marriage—and What to Do Next
We love Ryan Holiday and his book “Ego is the Enemy” “I guess I’m going to have to file, because she never will even though she threatens all the time” another client sighed to me the other day. “Our life is miserable. We only talk to figure out who’s picking the kids up from baseball […]
Ready to End Your Marriage? Signs It May Be Time
“Throwing in the Towel”“Giving Up on a Good Thing”“Walking Away from Marriage”“Marriage is Hard Work… You Just Need to Try Harder!” All of these phrases get used by people who don’t understand why a couple decides to divorce. As a divorce coach, I often hear these comments from clients whose friends and family are completely blindsided by […]
When Is the Right Time to Divorce? Questions to Consider
Are you wondering if it’s the right time to divorce? Many of my clients ask this difficult question: How do you know when it’s time to divorce? It’s common to feel like there’s always a reason to stay, even when things aren’t working. This is natural—nobody wants to go through a divorce. Despite being emotionally miserable, if you’re otherwise […]