Valentine’s Day During Divorce: Choosing Yourself
Valentine’s Day 2024 A lot of us have a Love-Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day. While I’m happy to, heck I even ENJOY, showing my love to my kids and husband on Valentine’s Day, I don’t love the marketing behind it. I don’t love that the showing of love is EXPECTED and is marketed to be […]
How to Help a Friend Through Divorce: What to Say and Do
Well, Hello again! I think our family is FINALLY done passing sickness around. Have you had to deal with that too? I feel like someone has been sick since the New Year and I’m glad we’re on the other side of it (hopefully!) We have some exciting things planned for the next couple of weeks […]
Five Divorce Lessons and Reflections From March
Happy (almost) Easter! What a month I had! Here’s a recap of my month. I did this in January and think it’s fun. Let me know if you like it and I’ll try to keep it up! One Win: This was an emotional, big change! Some of you may know that I started Eli’s Coffee Shop when I was 24. […]
Addicted to Saving Your Marriage? When to Let Go
Hello again! I can’t believe it’s been another week already. Spring has been flying by! I’m a member of our local Garden Club and we had our Season Kick Off meeting the other night. When we finished out last season, April felt so far off in the distant future and yet, here we are. My […]
Build a Relationship That Fits Your Life
A Divorce Coach’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Happiness, Identity, and Control Quick Answer: Healthy Interdependence vs. Enmeshment Healthy interdependence means two whole people choosing to share their lives while maintaining individual identities, interests, and emotional autonomy. Enmeshment means losing yourself so completely in a relationship that your happiness, schedule, and sense of self are entirely […]
Does Every Divorce Need a Villain?
Hello again! I am in peaceful Northern California for a few days with my friend Rei Hotoda. She is the Conductor for the Fresno Philharmonic. She had a break between shows and invited me to join her in Northern Napa for a quick but much needed getaway. We’ve hiked, ate LOTS of bread and cheese and […]
How Divorce Coaching Helps You Navigate Major Life Changes
Divorce is one of the most emotionally draining and complex transitions a person can face. The process often leaves individuals feeling overwhelmed, confused, and lost about what steps to take next. That’s where a divorce coach can make all the difference. What Does a Divorce Coach Do? As a Certified Divorce Coach, I specialize in offering divorce coaching […]
Planning for Life After Divorce: Prepare for Setbacks
By Katie Vandenberg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Planning for life after divorce requires dual preparation: building your ideal outcome while preparing for setbacks. Resilience during divorce emerges when you anticipate failures, rejected settlements, custody violations, and financial surprises before they occur. This strategic framework separates stable outcomes from reactive chaos. Using the […]
Divorce Coaching for Shame, Loss and New Beginnings
Although it’s still beautiful fall weather, I recently re-read *Wintering* by Katherine May. As someone who loves winter, I was immediately drawn into her imagery of cozy blankets, flickering candles, and the comforting warmth of a hot toddy. But the book’s purpose goes beyond these cozy winter scenes. May explores “wintering” as a metaphor for […]
Thanksgiving After Divorce: 5 Ways to Reclaim Your Peace
By Katie Vandenberg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: How to Navigate Thanksgiving After Divorce. Navigating Thanksgiving after divorce requires a shift from passive endurance to active strategy. To reclaim the holiday, start by replacing painful old traditions with new “anti-traditions” (like ordering takeout or volunteering). Protect your mental health with a […]