Planning for Life After Divorce: Prepare for Setbacks
By Katie Vandenberg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Planning for life after divorce requires dual preparation: building your ideal outcome while preparing for setbacks. Resilience during divorce emerges when you anticipate failures, rejected settlements, custody violations, and financial surprises before they occur. This strategic framework separates stable outcomes from reactive chaos. Using the […]
Divorce Resilience: How to Prepare for Setbacks
Originally Published Oct 2020, updated May 2025 When life takes an unexpected turn, having a strategy can make all the difference. As a Central Illinois divorce coach, I’ve seen how preparation transforms overwhelming situations into manageable challenges. The Plans We Make (And When They Fall Apart) You plan your days, weeks, and long-term goals meticulously. You […]
Grieving Divorce: Why a Season of Wintering Matters
By Katie Vandenberg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Wintering in divorce is a necessary physiological season of grief, exhaustion, and withdrawal—not a sign of weakness or depression. Rushing this phase leads to burnout and poor legal decisions. Instead, true resilience is built by slowing down: simplifying routines, reducing social obligations, and delaying major […]
Your First Thanksgiving After Divorce: How to Cope
It’s Thanksgiving week, and while there is a lot to be thankful for, I am keenly aware of the heavy feelings that surface during the holidays. I had a client talk with me today about this exact struggle, and it thrust me right back to my own First Thanksgiving after Divorce. In fact, I think […]
Thanksgiving Birthdays, Gratitude and New Beginnings
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I spent it at home; we hosted about 14 people. It was the perfect number to have a full house with lots of conversations and kiddos running around, but not too many that we were stressed. Everyone brought something, and it made for a fairly laid-back day […]
Divorce During the Holidays: Build Emotional Resilience
Quick Answer The week between Christmas and New Year’s—often called “The Limbo Week”—is the most strategic time to build resilience during divorce. Instead of waiting for the January filing rush, use this quiet window to privately gather financial documents, vet your support team, and establish emotional boundaries. This proactive approach allows you to enter the […]
Addicted to Your Marriage? How to Break the Cycle
Originally posted Jan 2024, updated Aug 2025 Are You Stuck in a Toxic Marriage Cycle? Here’s How to Know When It’s Time to Break Free I have noticed a trend with some people in what I would consider a bad habit, and that’s an addiction to trying to save a marriage that is unsalvageable. It’s […]
When Life Is Hard: Finding Strength During Divorce
“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” Glennon Doyle As my first marriage crumbled, I remember wondering why this was so hard? I thought I had made the right choice in my first husband. I imagine he felt the same. We were both intelligent, hard working, frugal and almost always […]
Five Lessons About Divorce, Growth and Starting Over
Somehow the first month of 2024 is almost over! I’ve been wildly and joyfully busy in all areas of my life! It took a little bit to get a routine back in place with what felt like too many snow and ice days keeping our kids home from school, but this week, FINALLY, I should […]
I’ll Never Be This Version of Me Again: Life After Divorce
“I will never have this version of me again, let me slow down and be with her” Rupi Kaur Going through a divorce, like any kind of grief, can often make us wish it away sooner than later. We do this in any variety of ways. Drinking too much. Dating too soon. Stuffing our emotions. Exercising […]