I Want a Divorce but My Husband Doesn’t: What Now?
By Katie Vandenberg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Quick Answer: Can I Divorce If He Refuses? Yes. Illinois is a “No-Fault” divorce state, meaning you do not need your spouse’s permission to end the marriage. If you state that the marriage is irretrievably broken, he cannot veto your decision. If he refuses to sign papers or […]
How an Affair Affects Divorce in Illinois
Quick Answer: While the court rarely punishes cheating with “moral” judgments, how an affair affects divorce is very real in three areas: Dissipation of Assets (reimbursing money spent on the affair), Increased Legal Costs (due to discovery and emotional conflict), and Negotiation Leverage (using guilt to settle faster). Introduction: The “Moral Victory” Trap When you […]
3 Ways an Affair Can Affect Your Divorce
I’ve been working as a Certified Divorce Coach for over four years and helping friends with their divorces casually for years before that. One of the top questions I get is, “I’ve been seeing someone, how will that be viewed by the judge?” Some people are more bold and open about their affairs, others are much more […]
Why a Bulldog Divorce Attorney May Cost More in Illinois
If you have just been served with divorce papers, your first instinct might be panic. Your second instinct—often fueled by well-meaning friends or late-night internet searches—is probably to find the meanest, most aggressive “bulldog attorney” in town to tear through the courtroom. It makes sense on the surface. You want to feel protected. But in […]
How Divorce Coaching Helps You Leave a Toxic Marriage
Breaking free from the cycle of a toxic marriage can feel just as consuming. But there is another insidious addiction that can consume one’s life—an addiction to saving a marriage that has long since become toxic and unsalvageable. As a divorce coach, I’ve witnessed countless clients go through this heartbreaking cycle. They find themselves constantly […]
3 Ways to Respond When Your Spouse Refuses a Divorce
Quick Answer: Can I Divorce If My Spouse Says No? Yes. In Illinois, you do not need your spouse’s permission to divorce. Because Illinois is a “no-fault” state, you can file based on “irreconcilable differences” regardless of their agreement. If they contest it, you may simply need to prove you have lived separately and apart […]
Why Won’t My Abusive Spouse File for Divorce?
Originally Published January 2024, Updated April 2025All names are changed to protect client privacy Quick Answer: Why Won’t My Abusive Spouse File for Divorce? An abusive spouse often refuses to file for divorce to maintain control, protect their public image (playing the “victim”), and avoid the ego injury of rejection. By refusing to act, they […]
Are You With a High-Conflict Person? Key Patterns to Know
If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering if what you’re experiencing is “normal” relationship conflict or something more serious. Here’s what I want you to know: if you’re constantly walking on eggshells, questioning your own reality, or feeling like nothing you do is ever good enough, those are significant red flags. You’re not imagining it, and […]