
How to Ask for a Divorce: A Script for the Hardest Conversation of Your Life
By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: How to Ask for a Divorce: The most

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: How to Ask for a Divorce: The most

Quick Answer: While the court rarely punishes cheating with “moral” judgments, how an affair affects divorce is very real in

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: An effective Illinois divorce strategy requires more than

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Planning for life after divorce requires dual preparation: building your

Updated June 2025 Over five years ago, I had a revelation that changed my life—and the lives of more than

Originally Published Oct 2020, updated May 2025 When life takes an unexpected turn, having a strategy can make all the

I’d love to invite you on a journey. But this isn’t just any journey – it’s likely one of the

Updated June 2025 Over five years ago, I had a revelation that changed my life—and the lives of more than

CDC Certified Divorce Coach® Katie VandenBerg Shares Insight on Divorce Strategy, Emotional Regulation, and Forward-Focused Decision-Making Quick Answer: In this

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Wintering in divorce is a necessary physiological season of grief,

Originally posted September 2023, updated February 2025 The Invisible Breakdown: When “Nothing” Becomes Everything Living as roommates rather than spouses

It’s Thanksgiving week and while there is a lot to be thankful for, I am keenly aware of the feelings

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I spent it at home; we hosted about 14 people. It was

Quick Answer The week between Christmas and New Year’s—often called “The Limbo Week”—is the most strategic time to build resilience

Originally posted Jan 2024, updated Aug 2025 Are You Stuck in a Toxic Marriage Cycle? Here’s How to Know When

“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” Glennon Doyle As my first marriage crumbled, I

Somehow the first month of 2024 is almost over! I’ve been wildly and joyfully busy in all areas of my

“I will never have this version of me again, let me slow down and be with her” Rupi Kaur Going through

Valentine’s Day 2024 A lot of us have a Love-Hate Relationship with Valentine’s Day. While I’m happy to, heck I

Going through a divorce in a Small Town is like…. Amiright? Been There, Done That. One question I get when

I’ve been a Certified Divorce Coach for over four years now and I STILL cringe when someone says they “want to hire

Well, Hello again! I think our family is FINALLY done passing sickness around. Have you had to deal with that

Happy St Patrick’s Day! I always love this simple holiday. It feels like the very beginning of Spring with Easter

“I notice we are envious of people who are already doing what we are made to do. If we use

Happy (almost) Easter! What a month I had! Here’s a recap of my month. I did this in January and think it’s

So, what exactly DOES a Divorce Coach do?? I get asked this all the time, especially when I meet someone

Hello again! I can’t believe it’s been another week already. Spring has been flying by! I’m a member of our

A Divorce Coach’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Happiness, Identity, and Control Quick Answer: Healthy Interdependence vs. Enmeshment Healthy interdependence means

How to Build a Strategic Divorce Team That Saves You Money and Stress Quick Answer: While a lawyer handles the

I’ve been working as a Certified Divorce Coach for over four years and helping friends with their divorces casually for years before

When you’re thinking about separation or divorce, it is VERY overwhelming! There are the roller coaster of emotions that can range

Hello again! I am in peaceful Northern California for a few days with my friend Rei Hotoda. She is the

Quick Answer: The secret to a quick divorce isn’t filing the paperwork faster; it is reaching an agreement sooner. In

We love Ryan Holiday and his book “Ego is the Enemy” “I guess I’m going to have to file, because

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Divorce coaching is not about “saving” broken people; You Don’t

Well, Hello again! It’s been a couple months since I’ve written in this space. The end of summer was busy

Divorce is one of the most emotionally draining and complex transitions a person can face. The process often leaves individuals

“Throwing in the Towel”“Giving Up on a Good Thing”“Walking Away from Marriage”“Marriage is Hard Work… You Just Need to Try

Are you wondering if it’s the right time to divorce? Many of my clients ask this difficult question: How do you

Going through a divorce can be overwhelming, and choosing the right divorce attorney is one of the most critical decisions

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Planning for life after divorce requires dual preparation: building your

Two years ago, I had a life-changing experience that led me to my true calling—divorce coaching. A close friend of

Navigating co-parenting after a divorce can be challenging, especially when communication between ex-partners is strained. Fortunately, there are several apps

Although it’s still beautiful fall weather, I recently re-read *Wintering* by Katherine May. As someone who loves winter, I was

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: Roommate Syndrome occurs when a marriage shifts from

“Hire a Bulldog Attorney,” they said.“It’ll be great,” they said.“You need a Bulldog Attorney to fight for you,” they said.

One of the most common — yet often hidden — reasons people consider divorce is feeling like they’re “just roommates”

When it comes to addiction, most people think of substances like alcohol or gambling. But there is another insidious addiction

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: How to Navigate Thanksgiving After Divorce. Navigating Thanksgiving

“Life is hard—not because we’re doing it wrong, just because it’s hard.” – Glennon DoyleWhen my first marriage began to

Quick Answer: Can I Divorce If My Spouse Says No? Yes. In Illinois, you do not need your spouse’s permission
Divorce can feel like navigating an uncharted wilderness—overwhelming, emotional, and full of unforeseen obstacles. But it doesn’t have to be

Every year, the first Monday after New Year’s Day is unofficially known as “Divorce Day.” It’s the day when family law

A trial separation can be an emotionally charged step, but for many couples, it’s an opportunity to gain clarity about

Navigating the decision to divorce is never easy. Whether you’re in a high-profile marriage, dealing with a high-conflict divorce, or feeling stuck

A trial separation can be a constructive step for couples seeking clarity about their relationship. However, without a clear plan,

Going through a divorce can be one of themost challenging experiences of your life. It’s a time filled with emotional

Divorce is one of the most challenging transitions a person can face, and it often brings on new fears and

Originally published in 2022. Updated in 2025 with new book recommendations. Why Books Matter During Divorce Recovery Reading can be

Originally Published: January 28, 2022 Last Updated: February 2024 The morning sun streams through your window, bringing with it a chance

*Originally Published: January 2023**Last Updated: February 2025* Just like a house fire, divorce can feel overwhelming and chaotic when it

Originally Published August, 2021. Updated March 2025. Quick Answer: Is Divorce Better for the Kids? While divorce is a challenging

Originally Published January 2024, Updated April 2025All names are changed to protect client privacy Quick Answer: Why Won’t My Abusive

Quick Answer: What is the Sunk Cost Fallacy in Divorce? The “Sunk Cost Fallacy” is the psychological trap of staying

When people ask me why I chose to become a Certified Divorce Coach in Peoria, Illinois, I often share a

Why “I’ve Already Paid Them So Much” Isn’t a Good Reason to Stay with a Bad Divorce Lawyer In Part

The most dangerous phrase in any major life transition? “How hard can it be?” I hear it at least three

Key Takeaways: “The person who is willing to start has a standing invitation to a better future.” I found myself

If you’re reading this, you’re probably wondering if what you’re experiencing is “normal” relationship conflict or something more serious. Here’s what

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: How to Ask for a Divorce: The most effective way to ask for

Quick Answer: While the court rarely punishes cheating with “moral” judgments, how an affair affects divorce is very real in three areas: Dissipation of Assets

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Quick Answer: An effective Illinois divorce strategy requires more than just hiring counsel; it demands

By Katie VandenBerg, CDC Certified Divorce Coach® | Focused Forward Planning for life after divorce requires dual preparation: building your ideal outcome while preparing for

Updated June 2025 Over five years ago, I had a revelation that changed my life—and the lives of more than 100 clients since. I learned

Originally Published Oct 2020, updated May 2025 When life takes an unexpected turn, having a strategy can make all the difference. As a Central Illinois divorce

I’d love to invite you on a journey. But this isn’t just any journey – it’s likely one of the most complex, emotionally charged, and

Updated June 2025 Over five years ago, I had a revelation that changed my life—and the lives of more than 100 clients since. I learned